The Grey Man / Gray Man
What Is The Grey Man Concept For Survival?
Becoming the grey man or women means blending in, being unnoticed, easily forgotten and overlooked. In reality you may be prepared for anything, but you don’t want to appear weak, strong, well equipped, under equipped, clueless or super skilled.
It is a key survival skill if you need to travel through an area filled with less prepared individuals after a disaster, or individuals you would rather not interact with.
The classic example is after a disaster, where people are running low on water, food and equipment. They may additionally be looking for a leader or just someone with more of a clue about how to handle the situation.
Would you rather walk down the street in full military gear, highlighting all your supplies and assumed knowledge, or would you rather look like an average commuter who has bunged a few bits into a cheap rucksack at the last minute.
One look will get you noticed, putting you at risk of losing your supplies to a desperate mob. The other gives you a chance to pass through unnoticed.
What Are The Rules For Becoming The Grey Man?
Blend In With Everyone Else
The “average look and behaviour” for individuals in a given area or scenario is called the baseline. This might be a laptop bag and smart clothing on the commute to work or sportswear and a duffle bag at the gym.
If you can match the baseline you become invisible, but if you stray too far away from it you stand out like a sore thumb and create a stimulus in the minds of those around. This draws their attention directly to you.
Bright colours attract more attention than muted colours, so for clothing it’s usually best to aim for dark blue, grey, tan etc. For a man this might be dark blue jeans with a dark coloured hoody.
Having said that, there are exceptions. If you dress like a construction worker, complete with neon jacket, you instantly become invisible to most people.
Be aware of logos on clothing. A logo can easily convey that you are posh, wealthy, poor or somewhere in the middle. Brands spend a lot on marketing to build up the associations around their brand, so use that to your advantage.
People watching is a great skill to learn. Find a nice cafe or restaurant with a good view of a main street. You will be surprised how much information your brain takes in, who stands out and who passes by without leaving a trace on your memory.
Smell
If everyone else is grubby from not bathing or washing clothes for days, try to look a bit grubby yourself. If the crowd is a bit smelly but you smell out of the shower fresh, you will stand out. Smell is a human super sense, used every moment of the day without realising it.
Camouflage Your Gear
You could store your gear in a military style daysack, complete with loads of molle webbing and Velcro patches, but this will stand out like a sore thumb when everyone around you is using basic laptop style rucksacks.
When looking for a grey man rucksack, Mystery Ranch is a good starting point. They make very high quality rucksacks for the military, complete with all the features you could want, but they also have a consumer line. The quality and features are the same but the rucksacks look like everyday laptop bags e.g. the District 24 shown above.
A duffle bag / gym bag works well for not drawing attention and nobody will give a second look to a school backpack or guitar case.
Stay Quiet
Excess noise draws people’s attention faster than anything. Avoid shouting, mute your devices, walk softly and try to not to bang any doors.
If you are in a group work out a system of silent gestures to communicate at a distance without making noise.
The exception is if everyone else in the crowd is panicking while you are completely calm and quiet. Maybe look a little panicked to blend in.
Avoid talking to others unless you have to. If you need to talk to someone keep it short, simple and be careful what information you give out.
Follow The Crowd And Don’t Rush
If everyone else is walking down the street at walking pace and you are walking noticeably faster or even running, you will draw attention to yourself.
If a crowd is all heading in one direction, but you have concluded your best bet is to head in the opposite direction, again you will stand out. Consider ducking off to the side, letting the crowd pass and then heading in your chosen direction.
Avoid Eye Contact
Human brains are trained to highlight others looking in your direction, particularly if it is for longer than average or if they make direct eye contact. Sustained eye contact immediately grabs the attention of another person.
Keep Your Eyes Peeled
Situational awareness is key. Constantly scan your surroundings and keep an idea of what is behind you at all times, but do it with stealth.
If you suddenly turn your head to look at something or stare too long at something people nearby will notice.
You can make use of your peripheral vision or move your eyes without moving your head. The camera app on your phone is also great for giving a fresh perspective without moving your head. Glass store fronts or car windows can let you see what is behind you without turning around.
Avoid Trouble
If you see potential trouble heading your way you can cross the street, turn the corner, duck into a nearby shop or pretend to be busy on your phone to avoid eye contact.
Modify Your Appearance
People do this all the time to look more fashionable, more powerful or more wealthy than they really are, but it works the other way too.
A hat, sunglasses and scarf can easily hide most of your facial features. Removing and hiding accessories like watches, earrings and rings can make you less memorable and safer.
Body language and movement is also easy to modify. Everyone will be familiar with a local beggar who hobbles around the city centre with a stick, only to be seen walking in a perfectly normal manner when not at work.
Further Research On YouTube
Canadian Prepper - A look at the ex-army camo look vs the urban grey man.